Smartphones have enormous power. They take pictures, record video and sound, retrieve your email, even make phone calls and act as GPS devices. They can entertain you and deliver the latest news and weather. They can also wreck your car and your relationship if you are not careful.
People are attached to their cellphones. No one has to tell you that. But depending on the job, a cellphone can get you fired. But do you have to lose a spouse or relationship as well?
According to the website AllWomenStalk.com there are nine definite signs that a cellphone is ruining your relationship. Thes include;
- You only connect through your phone.
- You text through a date or meeting with friends.
- You miss important conversations
- You can’t handle normal interaction.
- You need your phone constantly.
- You become detached from people around you.
- Relationships end quickly.
- People keep repeating themselves.
- Friends start hangingout without you.
For black men and women it is extremely important that you learn to control the impulse or even addiction to constantly checking or using your cellphone. A major complaint of black dating couples is that the other person can’t put down the cellphone. Many relationships are finished before they start because of incessant cellphone usage.
But if you are in commited relationship or married you need to put your partner before your cellphone. There are ways to do this. Few people realize that a smartphone can really anger their partner if they feel it takes priority over them. Stopping whatever you are doing to answer a call or text can be a very frustrating experience for the other person in your life. Not to mention create suspicion that something is amiss in the relationship.
Show your partner or spouse that they are first by doing the following;
- Greet your spouse or partner in the morning if you arise at the same time. Say good morning, exchange a little kiss and some plesantries. Ask him or her how they slept or about their dreams. Spend a few minutes cuddling.
- Declare a time at night when the cell phone is off until the next morning. And let the job know it! Spend your evening and last waking minutes with your partner.
- Consider banning cell phones from the bedroom altogether. That means before, during and after sex!
- Dinner and other meals should be a strict no electronics time. Talk to each other during your meals.
Don’t be sneaky when using your cellphone. Nothing creates more suspicion than when you get a call and leave the room with the phone. Or disappear into the bathroom or garage to talk. If the conversation is innocent why are you hiding? You better have a good reason like palnning a surprise vacation. Otherwise you will have some questions to answer.
Avoid hurting your partner’s feelings by clarifying your cellphone usage. Sometimes you can’t avoid a busy day at work and the job will follow you home. At those times you need to talk with your partner and let them know whats happening. If something your partner says sets off an alrm in your head let them know that’s why you’re taking your phone out of your pocket. A little communicationcan can prevent fights from starting and hurt feeling and smooth things over.
Another thing you can do is learn to listen. Listening is an active, not passive, task. People don’t always undersand you have to be prepared to listen. Remove distractions, like your cellphone. Be prepared to give feedback. A simple acknowledgment can go a long way. A nod of the head or eye contact lets the person know they are heard. A good suggestion is to cuddle on the couch or embrace for few minutes during a conversation. You may be abe to multi-task but you can only listen to one person at a time.
Take days off from you cellphone if you can. Declare Sundays cellphone free days. Try not to use the cellphone on weekend getaways or keep ther use to a minium on vacation.
Remember a smartphones is not an absolute threat to a relationship. You can use it to enhance your relationship as well. Try sending your partner sweet or even hot sexy text messages throughout the day. This is great way to let them know you’re thinking of them. But please don’t use the work issued cellphone for this! Or to really spice things up you can even play a little game with your smartphones. How about making a deal that whoever goes for the cellphone first owes their partner a sexual treat!
Text messaging can open your partner up for in-person conversations that wouldn’t have happened otherwise, especially when it comes to sex. If texting is the only way you say what you feel then go for it! Just make sure you work on your in person communication skills.
Don’t let a cellphone destroy your life. Understand that a cellphone is a tool and not a crutch for communication. Bring your partner back into your life by moving that device aside.
Now you know.
