Black Parenting in the Digital Age

canstockphoto2780627Black parents you need to face it. It ain’t like the old days. This is the age of the Internet, cell phones, social media, text messaging and email. Your children are exposed to technology unlike any Pong game you played as a child.  As a parent you need to understand what this technology can do to your child. 

In the past your influences and experiences were limited to school, your neighborhood, family and of course television with just a few channels.

Today, using the Internet, your child can visit anybody and anyplace in the world. And the really dangerous part is that anyone from anywhere can reach out and contact your child. So as a parent how do you raise a child in the digital age?

Children are playing with electronic toys that absolutely hypnotize them with little or no parental control. That is a serious mistake. Never allow an electronic device to babysit your child.

Too many games kids play have violent content. This violence is linked to more aggressive behavior in teens. In addition to games black children are more likely to be exposed to violence in real life than other groups.

Parents also need to cut back television watching. Research shows more than ten hours of TV a week negatively affects classroom performance. African-American parents should consider the total amount of time your child spends in front of all electronic screens  including TVs, computers, movie screens.

Children who spend too much time on a computer or video game are missing out on fundamental activities that build their physical, social, intellectual, and emotional health. As your child gets older bad habits can become ingrained and are more difficult to change.

There is clear evidence that Internet and game addiction is real and as powerful as any drug. There are clear warning signs that parent need to be aware of. These include;

  • Craving more time on the computer and Internet.
  • Neglecting or disconnecting completely from friends and family.
  • Feeling restless, agitated, even angry when not engaged in computer activity.
  • Exhibiting emotional difficulty, depression, moodiness when not online.
  • Computer use interfering with school performance.
  • Being dishonest with you about computer use and online activities.
  • Withdrawing from other activities they previously enjoyed.
  • Playing or surfing online for extended hours and changes in sleep habits.
  • Poor personal hygiene, weight gain or loss.
  • Using the Internet to avoid dealing with problems or to withdraw.

Does your teen have an Internet addiction?

If you have a child or teenager that is showing these signs you have a problem as serious as any street drug. There are some things you can do:

  • Cut back on the time spent online. Unlimited access to the Internet makes stopping an addiction is nearly impossible. Set limits on the amount of time your teen is allowed to go online. If necessary keep the password a secret and budget their time online.
  • Place the computer in a family area. Many teens have  their own computer usually in their bedroom. Move the computer to a shared room so  you can keep track of how much time they spend online and supervise their online activity.
  • Talk about it. Teens are good at hiding things from parents.  Especially African-American teens. Your teen may deny having an Internet addiction. And they truly may not even be aware they have one. Talk to them. Determine why they are going online so much and what their Internet habits are to help determine if there is an addiction to be broken.
  • Get help. Like any other addiction, Internet and game addiction requires professional treatment. Therapy can help you and your teen address the addiction. If outpatient therapy is not enough you may want to consider help from a residential treatment center or therapeutic boarding school. These facilities  offer teens a supportive atmosphere where they can focus on breaking their addiction and learn healthy coping mechanisms.

We know teens are growing and exploring their world. This includes sex. Sexting has far reaching and dangerous consequences for teens that can last a lifetime. For some teens sexting seems to have  become a game that for some has had horrible consequences. AACR rule #7; “Images on the Internet are no longer yours.” And for your information black teens sext as much as whites.

Make sure your teen understands that once that image is sent or shared it can show up anywhere! Anywhere! You may not believe your teen is sexting. Think again!  Research indicates that 24 percent of high-school age teens ages 14 to 17 and 33 percent of college-age students ages 18 to 24 have sexted.  Few of them realize there are laws against sexting including serious child pornography laws.

The situation can get much worse. Thirteen percent of sexting teens attempted suicide in 2012.  The sexting suicides are not actually related to the the picture or video shared by the teen. Its what happens after the picture is shared. The resulting scandal and embarrassment can be too much for fragile teen emotions. Photos shared with a boyfriend or girlfriend can suddenly find its way into the hands of other unwanted people. The result is often taunting, harassment, bullying and extreme shame. Within the last 5 years there have been far too many cases of teens completing suicide due to a sexting incident that went very  wrong.

Now you know